Faith in Difficulty

I believe in the healing power of God. I also believe in the truth that for those who believe in Jesus' name, we have what we have asked for. I also believe that a prayer of faith will raise up anyone who is sick. I also believe that at any point an intervention of Jesus in a person's life can bring about instantaneous healing. I believe in the compassion of Jesus and that God the Father feels exactly the same way about suffering that Jesus does because Jesus said He and the Father are one and that Jesus only did what He saw the Father doing.

We should always be challenged with the promises Jesus made and never give in to anything else but the fulfillment of His promises AND at the same time we must maintain trust and patient endurance until that moment of fulfillment comes!

It is my belief that the Bible teaches that the fulfillment of God's promises is not a question of IF but rather WHEN and HOW God delivers on His promises. Incidentally, Biblically speaking all of God's promises are already YES and AMEN for those who believe Him. We should always believe THIS is God's heart for us, and yet the head-scratcher is that even his faith-filled children often do suffer--many times the most!

For those who find themselves in the midst of suffering if you’re like me it can lead to doubting the goodness, the promises, and the power of God. Especially when what you have believed for has not yet materialized. Even more soberly there is the reality that some will not receive the fulfillment of God's promises until the resurrection at the end of the Church Age.

NO ONE receives the entire fulfillment of His promises until that day.

Gratefully there is is a promise that is 100% redeemable right here and now. Jesus said He will always be with us until the end of the age [Matthew 28:20], and that in this world we will experience trouble but that we can take heart because He's overcome the world. [John 16:33]

Please consider the following passage which does not devalue the power of faith in God's promises yet also affirms those who believe who have not yet received the fulfillment of the promise. If you like, read all of Hebrews 11. It's incredibly faith-building. Especially consider Hebrews 11:35-40 which is encouraging for those in the midst of suffering. 

By the way, Hebrews 11 is in fact one of my mother's most favorite passages in the Bible and it is also becoming one of mine. She believes for her healing every day, and I believe with her. It is imminently around the corner, but I don't know whether this will occur in this life or upon her resurrection.

___________________

Scripture to Pray About

Hebrews 11:32-40

32 And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson and Jephthah, about David and Samuel and the prophets, 33 who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, 34 quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. 35 Women received back their dead, raised to life again. There were others who were tortured, refusing to be released so that they might gain an even better resurrection. 36 Some faced jeers and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. 37 They were put to death by stoning;[e] they were sawed in two; they were killed by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated— 38 the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, living in caves and in holes in the ground.

39 These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, 40 since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.

The Currency of Heaven

The religious leaders were continually trying to outwit and entrap Jesus.

One day they approached Jesus asking whether they should pay taxes to the Caesar.  

They were hoping to entrap him by admitting duplicitous allegiances where He would either get in trouble with the Romans for espousing anti-Roman sentiments, or get in trouble with the religious zealots who hated Rome.

Did you know Jesus was the king of gotchas? This time Jesus told a riddle.

"Why are you trying to trap me? Show me a roman coin...  Who's image is on the coin?"

Caesar

"Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and give to God what belong's to God."

It was probably a head-scratcher at first. How does the image on the coin relate to God?  What may not be apparent is the fact that Jesus was covertly telling a riddle! So clever, so God!

The answer to the riddle is found in the unasked question that Jesus left for the honest seekers of truth to discover themselves.

If Caesar's image is engraved on a Roman coin, what is God's image engraved upon?

It's you and me! We are God's image bearers. We are His currency.

So the application of Jesus' message was, "Give to Caesar your money when required, but give yourselves to God."

____________________

Scripture to Pray About

Later they sent some of the Pharisees and Herodians to Jesus to catch him in his words. They came to him and said, “Teacher, we know that you are a man of integrity. You aren’t swayed by others, because you pay no attention to who they are; but you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. Is it right to pay the imperial tax to Caesar or not? Should we pay or shouldn’t we?”

But Jesus knew their hypocrisy. “Why are you trying to trap me?” he asked. “Bring me a denarius and let me look at it.” 

They brought the coin, and he asked them, “Whose image is this? And whose inscription?”

“Caesar’s,” they replied.

Then Jesus said to them, “Give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s.” And they were amazed at him.

Mark 12:13-17 (New International Version)

The Greatest Flex of All

In a world where we are inundated by flexes of various sorts I have struggled with being overly enamored by the accomplishments and power of people. It has been a continual fight for me to maintain a sober mindset and to remember to never sink to the level of worshiping the created rather than my creator! For my part I have often succumbed to envy and idolatry born out of insecure comparison forgetting that in the light of the power and glory of the Almighty the power of the created is inconsequential and not worth comparing!

Here is what I'm meditating on today:

Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. [Those who trust in themselves] are brought to their knees and fall, but we [who trust God] rise up and stand firm.

"Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches, but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they... know me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the LORD.

[taken from Psalm 20:6-7 and Jeremiah 9:23-24]

Supernatural Change in the Ordinary

Because I believe in the supernatural it was my impression that change in my life would occur in similar fashion.

More recently, through a lifetime of frustration, repeated attempts and pursuits in various ministry methodologies, and failure, my thinking has changed.

Don't get me wrong. 

I still believe in miracles and in fact I still believe change in our lives actually only occurs supernaturally. The way the supernatural manifests in our lives however in most cases may appear more natural than supernatural. I had hoped for more life-altering encounters where wrong desires and addictions would suddenly alter or go away entirely. I don't know many rock-bottom addicts who wouldn't long for the same thing.

What I have come to find is that God does in fact intervene supernaturally but it looks like falling on my face a thousand times and somehow having the willingness to get back up and try again. The scripture says, "A righteous person will fall seven times yet get back up again."

So what in fact is happening when God supernaturally intervenes in our life to bring about transformation which on our own is impossible? What is it that makes it supernatural? Because God is supernatural. If He is speaking and acting in our lives then it is by definition a supernatural act. Anyone from the outside may only see the natural outcome of life but for those who are truly touched by God then every circumstance in life is in fact a supernatural occurrence!

First let me reiterate once more that change is irrelevant if it is not accompanied by the life giving power which comes from being saved and being given access to God. We must receive salvation for any change to have significant meaning in our lives. Otherwise any change that occurs is simply another layer of our brokenness manifesting in self deception that we are in fact progressing as spiritual beings when we may in fact still be hard against God participating in our lives.

Once that saving transaction occurs is when God begins a transforming work.

Change occurs gradually as we hear, believe and obey truth.

Change occurs progressively from grace to grace. As we respond to grace, more grace for transformation is given.

Change occurs relationally. We cannot seek to change if we do not allow ourselves to be touched by the one who changes us.

The process of change hurts. The primary method God changes us is by allowing life to happen to us and then communicating to us the truth about what we're enduring. It's called discipline. However, discipline is primarily based not in God hurting us but rather God touching our hearts in the midst of life which causes us pain and a desire to be transformed.  Only those who are His children are touched by Him in this way. [see Hebrews Chapter 12]

Lasting change occurs when we are exposed to a revelation of the truth and allow our minds to be conformed to it. We apprehend the truth about who God is, who we are and we change our minds about what it means for us in our lives. [see Romans Chapter 12:1-2 and following]

The outcome of change is new-found motivation to love God and others. We do not change by focusing on right and wrong but rather allowing God to change our motivations from unloving to loving. As Jesus said, "The whole law can be summed up in this way: Love God and love your neighbor."

Change occurs by God's Spirit. Every point above occurs as God's Spirit is interacting with ours in a life-giving way. 

My Story

What does surrender to the saving work of Jesus look like in my life?

Well, it's been a b-rated show to put it mildly, in the sense that my performance has not been the most reflective (in my opinion) of that of the typical follower of Christ. There's a title of a great classic spiritual book called "The Normal Christian Life" by a Chinese author named Watchman Nee? I am not the poster-child for that book!

Gratefully God's grace is NOT measured out according to performance but by grace and the faith we place in His ability to meet us where we lack the most!

As mentioned before, I grew up in a Christ-following household. At an early age I believe I came to an authentic recognition of my need for Christ during Sunday school. I remember hearing the story of Zaccheus who was called down from the sycamore tree he was using so he could see Jesus better because of his short stature.

I was moved by the fact that Jesus saw Zaccheus and cared for him and ultimately died to save him from his sins--and also yours and mine. That night I asked Jesus to be my savior as led by my dad before bedtime. 

That was the beginning.

Since that time I wrestled mostly in complacent fashion with my manipulative and deceitful disposition. I was very good at performing and for a while had become an almost compulsive liar at that young age. I was far more concerned with how to avoid getting in trouble rather than how to find ways to more effectively obey my parents.

Later when I was about 10 years old, I began to be concerned that I might not really be saved. It took a while for my parents to convince me that Jesus died for me and if I had sincerely desired and requested of him to be my Savior then I could know that my salvation was secure. I prayed many times after that asking him to be my Savior. Honestly, somewhere there must have been some disconnect in my understanding of God and where I found myself. 

I would say at that time in my life I primarily feared God and had somehow missed the memo of how much He loved me right where I was at. In fact that would not begin to sink in until I was in college. In the meantime I began to struggle with same-sex attraction and lust in my teen years. This definitely rocked my world and caused me to be quite fearful and shameful about where I was really at with God.

Again, I continued to pray many times for salvation and deliverance. My focus was still very much on outward performance.  Along the way I would rededicate myself to Christ but continued to wrestle with shame and fear over my failures to fulfill my commitments.

It wasn't until college that my thinking about God and how He related to me really began to change.

It was in college that I read a transformational book called "Embracing the Love of God" by James Bryan Smith. It was required reading for my Spiritual Development course I was taking. Initially, I hated the book and thought it to be heretical. 

What was the author's premise?

God not only loves us, but likes us just the way we are. All that Jesus did on the cross was to reiterate God's love and make it possible for us to be in relationship with God because it is relationship that He wants to have with us.

I finally realize I needed some major corrections in my beliefs about God and reading this book was hugely transformational in my relationship with God.

Something else that occurred that rocked my world is when I was being led through some inner healing prayer ministry and discovered that Jesus had always been compassionately present in my life, and especially during the most traumatic times where I felt abandoned and alone.

The biggest change, however, did not begin to occur until after I had married and then subsequently was divorced that I began to realize something. My issues were not an issue of performance but rather inward brokenness of heart.

It's been a major and recent step when I came to realize there is literally nothing I can do that will change the brokenness I carry on the inside. All the behavior modification will not change my broken disposition BUT that does not change God's love for me, His ability to use me, and His power to change me however not on my timetable but His.

It's a humbling place to find myself where I feel I should have all the right answers yet unable to follow through with my own advice.

So here I am, freshly on the same life journey I've been on realizing I am loved right where I am at and that Jesus is able to redeem me not through my own efforts but by His grace alone. And it is now by His grace that I await His transforming work to make me more like the image of who He wants me to be which is really just a redeemed version of myself, warts and all.

What would it look like if Jesus were to redeem your life?

Your life wouldn't look like the pope, or your pastor, or Billy Graham, or Mother Teresa. Instead you would look more like yourself having the identity of who you were made to be, broken in certain ways, yet now redeemed.

Like a restored vase or clay pot.

The point of all this is to say this. Regardless of whether it is a quick or slow process, it is God's grace that leads us to a place of surrender where we understand there is nothing we can do to change our broken natures and that our salvation and redemption can only be found in the saving work of Jesus.

It's the first step whether it happens overnight or over a lifetime.

Save Me

The issue that offends God is that our disposition is naturally against Him, not for Him. Until that is conceded the issue of HOW we sin doesn't even matter because to address sin in any other context is corrupted self driven attainment. In other words, in the words used in Judges--

Everyone being right in their own eyes.

What we need is Jesus and the grace to surrender to Him first and foremost. That's why the story about the tax collector and pharisee that Jesus shares about in Luke 18 is so profound. The pharisee was focused on his performance and perceived good deeds and therefore self deceived about his corrupt state-of-being. Whereas the tax collector was fully aware of his entire corrupted disposition which is why he prayed "have mercy on me a sinner" rather than, "Have mercy on me for my sins!". 
As sinners even on our best day we're far from pleasing God by what we do because of our natural disposition which is against Him. Every good work therefore is corrupt, unauthorized and illegitimate because it's for ourselves and not for God. Our attempted performance for God is nothing but garbage in the words of Paul in Philippians 3:8.

The good news is God loves us. And because He does He provides the method for bringing us back into a right disposition with Him. This happens when we acknowledge who Jesus is, what He did for us, and our need for Him. We then repent of who we are and surrender our disposition to Him so we may be transformed from the inside out. All of this happens by trusting in Jesus and can only occur when God's grace is given and apprehended to do so. 

When we believe in Jesus and surrender in this way, we are given a new frame of mind which does not begin with self justification but rather brokenness and a willingness to change in whatever ways God shows us we're in opposition to God in how we think about Him, how we relate to God and others, how we think about ourselves, and how we live our lives.

Even after this occurs we must continue to understand that while there is law which is God's prescription and command for the right way to live, behavior modification to obey the law is only outward behavior modification which is often temporary and does not necessarily reflect a change of heart. 

Transformation does not occur simply by adjusting our behavior. We must allow Jesus to show us the inclination of our deceitful hearts that will often fake obedience to God without surrender.  

The analogy that comes to mind is that of a child who is sitting down in obedience to their parent's wishes outwardly but inwardly still standing with a defiant attitude.

We must allow Jesus to show us our corrupt motivations and be brought to a state of recognition of our disposition and then become willing for God to purify our hearts.

None of this however would even happen without God's SANCTIFYING grace intervening to bring us to that awareness. 

Identifiable sinners and addicts may be more inclined to see this truth about themselves than others because their sin has brought them to that place affectionately referred to by recovering addicts as rock-bottom.

__________________

Scriptures to Pray About 

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

“But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

“I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

Luke 18:9-14  (New Living Translation)

Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ...

Philippians 3:9 (New Living Translation)

Brutal Honesty

Throughout my spiritual journey I have wrestled with a pivotal point in how I walk with God on a daily basis.

As I mentioned in my last post, it is important to maintain transparency in how we relate and communicate with each other. In that spirit, let me share a bit more about myself.

One of the key tenants of the Christian faith is the concept of grace. Don't want to get too heady here but basically grace is the vehicle through which salvation is brought to us. And by grace, we mean a free gift. Something unearned that our own wealth or power cannot bring to us.

I believe God has given that grace to me. The witness of Jesus in the Scriptures shows us that it was by Jesus' death that we may be forgiven and through his restored life we may find resurrection life as well. The Bible is very clear that there is nothing we can do to earn this yet belief is required to receive it. Paul in the Bible goes so far as to say that if you try to earn salvation then you are essentially doing it wrong and that you have not truly placed your faith in the finished work of Jesus.

Ok - so here's my dilemma.

The Bible states also that those who have been saved will obey Jesus. It also states that those who continue to practice lawlessness--a life which disregards God as our Judge and Creator--will not ineherit God's kingdom. [Galatians 5:20-21]

Do you detect the dilemma?

I am saved by grace and not by my efforts, but if I'm saved then my efforts will demonstrate the salvation I have received. And then enters me and my messy life (and maybe yours, too?).

For much of my life I have sought to live in faith concerning God's grace and in obedience to Jesus -AND- not in a way where I'm trying to earn my salvation.

I'm failing at this.

By failing I simply mean based on God's perfect standard I'm not perfect. I'm missing the mark and in some areas of my life specifically addressed in the Bible, often in ways that cause me great distress!

So what do I do with this conflict? Or put in the words of Paul, "The things I don't want to do I do! ...Oh wretch that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death!?"

For me, my battle is with ingrained mindsets and broken ways of coping which I find difficult to shake off. It gets messy for me and like Paul I cry out the same distressing question, "Who will rescue me?!"

The comfort I find is found in Paul's following statement who appeals once again to Jesus' work on the cross and God's incredible grace. "Thanks be to God who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!" And in the very next chapter and verse he says, "There is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Jesus." [see end of Romans 7 and beginning of Romans 8]

Believe me, I'm not looking for an excuse to live contrary to God's "best life" for me. Apart from God's grace I believe I would stand condemned. Paul is very clear that to understand God's grace is to not abuse it. He explains that though we have received this grace we should by no means continue to sin as if that should help God in making His grace appear even more wonderful.

As I have walked this journey I believe my Shepherd Jesus has been gradually teaching and growing me to be more like the sheep he wants me to be. It's been a long journey and frankly I'm embarrassed for how wayward and double-minded I can often be even years after following him. Jesus is worthy of a better track record on my part.

My relationship with my dog Blaze provides a small picture into my life with God.

You may have seen in a video I've posted elsewhere how my beloved Blaze enjoys the little treats he finds along the path by the pond, and by treats I mean duck poop. It's gross! Try as I may I have yet to get through to him how disgusting and possibly detrimental that could be to him. I keep working with him to train that behavior out of him but in no way does his behavior cause me to love him less or want to drop him off at the pound. In some small measure I believe God feels the same about me, only so much more--like in the manner of a parent and child.

Take heart dear friend. You really are not alone. God cares for you more than you could possibly imagine. 

God loves you right where you're at and He has not given up on you. So don't give up!

If you find yourself in the depths as I often have either inwardly or outwardly why not call to Him? He is near to the humble and the brokenhearted. That's who God is.

[for study and reference I have been reflecting on Romans chapters 7-8 and Galatians chapter 5]

Just Pretend

There is a popular social media video trend I've come across on more than one occasion by different media creators.

The basic gist?

Don't ever publicly reveal your weaknesses or anything that people can use against you.

It's ironic because last I checked transparency actually generates trust. Yes, you can go overboard in overwhelming people with your dirty laundry and that stinks. 😁

That being said we are passing into a new generational culture where transparency is refreshing and welcomed. People are tired of the bullshit, particularly when it comes from people that claim to have answers. Answers and shared experiences are welcomed warmly however when provided with humility and at least the air of transparency.

One of the powerful traits found in the Biblical accounts is the ridiculous transparency about the flaws that key people in the narrative carried--sometimes autobiographical! It's not normal to reveal one's own mistakes and weaknesses but it is powerful in lending credibility to the narrative.

The power to be weak and vulnerable is a trait found even in nature and is used with remarkable skill.

I believe the general population is tired of the games we play in society to show face and act confident and conceal weaknesses.

The reality is there is a context for appropriate environments to be vulnerable. Much depends on your purpose in doing so. Do you want to present yourself as the trustworthy and relatable person you believe yourself to be?

Stop pretending.

Valentine Wishes

Today marks the anniversary of my first unofficial date with my former wife.

It was February 13th that we went out on a Just Friends Valentine's date, since we decided neither of us singles should be alone for Valentine's.  We decided to be practical and go out the night before to avoid the crowds and long waits at the restaurants on Valentine's day. We went to Asheville and had the worst time finding parking and then I was freaking out because we didn't have coins for the parking meter. We were literally freezing our butts off trying to find any establishment that could provide change for the meter. 

We went and had crepes that were very disappointing because they were awfully NOT authentic. We went to a bar and listened to live folk music. We skipped like kids in love down the street holding hands pretending we were in love and laughing ridiculously hard as we skipped. And as we did we didn't realize it at first but we had fallen stupid hard in love.

That was not supposed to happen. I was considerably older AND I was same sex attracted and had no intention on pursuing anything at the time. That's why I agreed to the Just Friends Valentine's date in the first place! So we wouldn't be alone! I brought her chocolate and a Valentine. And to my great surprise she had written sweet little notes on tiny heart shaped cut-outs that literally brought tears to my eyes. So sweet and precious. Still is!

The day we realized we were in love a couple days later a dear friend asked her a question that quite surprised her. She said, "Would you want to have another Valentine's with him?" Her answer, "I want to spend all of them with him!"

I miss her terribly.

I called her today and didn't even realize until after our conversation that it was THIS anniversary. We talk periodically because frankly we still care for each other in spite of the issues that are stirred up between us, my issues not hers.

To speak with her can be painful for the grief of losing her and yet I wouldn't trade the opportunity for anything. I have no way to explain how I feel for her in spite of the conflict of what I've been carrying within me that brought about the demise of our marriage.

I'm so glad I was able to speak with her today and grateful that she is carrying on well.

Happy Valentine's, my dearest.

Love To Laugh

When I was a young boy I have very fond memories spending my mornings and afternoons with my mother while dad was a work.

As I mentioned previously, I was born premature and very sickly. On top of that my mother suffered from a massive subdural hematoma which is when blood collects in between the skull and brain. The effects were severe and crippling for her as it created damaging pressure on her brain. That being said she had recovered well enough for me to be left alone with her while dad was at work.

I loved my days with mom. Even at the age of five I was helping her with laundry and picking up things around the house, and when my brother was born I helped my mom change his diapers. Yes, she had another boy in spite of some of the debilitating challenges she was still wrestling with! Actually she eventually gave birth to a second brother as well!

Every morning after breakfast we would watch a whole series of shows on TV. We watched Loony Tunes, I Love Lucy, Little House on the Prairie, Bonanza and others throughout a part of the afternoon at times after my nap, if I wasn't playing instead.

We sat there and laughed our heads off especially at Bugs Bunny and I Love Lucy. Those were what I remember as the good ole days.

As I grew up our relationship became quite strained. By the time I was in middle school our relationship had grown toxic and things happened between me, her, and my dad that were confusing and hurtful. At this point I don't care to point fingers of blame at either of them. We were all going through it.

I'm grateful that I have a decent relationship with them now.

A few things I've learned by experience along that journey:

Anger in itself is not wrong. It is a natural emotion and is a warning sign that we are feeling threatened. Learning to communicate how we feel in a respectful manner is absolutely important for the health of a relationship. For my part, I was not able to do that effectively in my mid-teens but as I began to work through the unresolved anger in my life as an adult I was able to have some heart-to-hearts with both my parents that were clarifying and important, particularly in moving towards reconciliation.

Forgiveness is essential to be able move forward in our lives. Forgiveness is not excusing what happened but in fact coming to the full realization of what the damage was and choosing to let go of that which you think was owed to you. By the way, usually the bigger the offense is the more necessary it is to be honest with yourself about what you were hurt and angry about before you can really let it go.

Forgiveness means letting go of the hurt or the emotional damage. What I mean by this is sometimes a hurt occurs regardless of whether the other party involved intended to harm us or not. It is possible to forgive even a good, accidental or misconstrued action simply because it incurred damage even if the other person was in the right. An example of this is when a vehicle collision occurs through no intentional fault or negligence causing loss to ourselves or a loved one. What we're letting go of is the debt of harm created by that other person. We must acknowledge the hurt we've experienced and then let it go otherwise we remain captive to the debt of harm and loss the other's actions caused us.

Forgiveness is not reconciliation. To no longer require recompense for your injuries does not mean you are to enter back into the same level of trust in the relationship. You can only reconcile to the degree that both parties agree what the injury was and there is willingness AND ABILITY for positive change to occur. This is huge. Even if some recognize the damage done, sometimes for whatever reason change is not always possible given chronic destructive patterns that may exist in a person's life. Also sometimes the offense can be so great that reconciliation may not be possible even if forgiveness is extended.  We are not required to repeatedly put ourselves in harms way and in some cases just being in a toxic person's presence can be traumatizing. Again, forgiveness is not reconciliation.

Boundaries are a great intermediary step that can be implemented when change in a relationship is necessary. Often boundaries are a loving and healthy tool for interacting in relationships where damage has occurred. Boundaries are often needed particularly where full reconciliation and trust in a relationship cannot be restored or when facing repeat offense scenarios.

What has been amazing is how God through a process of healing has been restoring my relationship with my parents. If you knew how bitter and angry particularly toward my mother that I had become you would be shocked to know that I consider her now to be one of my best friends and support in my life. Much of what happened between us was our weaknesses conflicting with one another coupled with some grave misunderstandings. The damage for both of us was very profound but now the restoration is also profoundly sweet as well!

This year I was not able to be with my mom for her birthday. I sent her a card and had a special gift delivered to her. She called me on two separate days when each arrived and we truly had a wonderful talk. At one point I said something funny to her and she was laughing and then I was laughing and then we just couldn't stop. It was glorious and I suddenly remembered how we used to laugh together when I was little boy. The thought of it now makes my eyes leak tears of joy and relief.

Thank you, Jesus!